If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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