Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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