my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
