my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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