ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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