This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
