she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
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At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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