I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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