Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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