So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize