i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Randomize
