What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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