Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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