Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
