I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
