there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
