I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
