u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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