put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
