Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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