I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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