Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
