He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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