Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize