I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
