I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
