so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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