he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize