i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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