she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
