you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.