I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I touched a dick in church today