There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
what food is Colorado known for?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.