I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
