I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dick very happy bro
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
