her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
