i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
