My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
