can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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