Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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