Its about making memories worth repressing
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
