I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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