both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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