Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
