Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
