Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
