i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
