I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
