He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im holly from the hills drunk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
