I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
