i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sorry about my life...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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