You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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