yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
