and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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