Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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