Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
