she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
