Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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