Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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