Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
