census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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